


18. Love

by djchika



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hero-in-disguise asked you:  may i prompt you, oh, fair maiden? XD crisscolfer based off of Arms by Christina Perri? pleasepleaseplease. <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	18. Love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted July 26, 2012
> 
> Part of My Crisscolfer 100 Ficlet (Drabble) Challenge

“I love you.”

Chris’ head snapped up from his laptop. He hadn’t heard Darren come home, which wasn’t really anything new when he was writing. Christ smiled at him, but a quick look at Darren made him falter.

It was one of the many times Chris knew there was something wrong just by looking at Darren. He was staring at Chris, eyes bright and intense. Chris shivered, his heart quickening.

_Fear. Apprehension. Trepidation._

His writing mind supplied him with words which he batted away, focusing instead on the man in front of him.

“I love you too.”

Darren furrowed hi brow, teeth clenched, breath coming out in a quick huff. All tell-tale signs that he was frustrated. Chris removed his glasses, his arms automatically wrapping around his stomach.

Chris waited and watched Darren. Watched the tick of his jaw as he struggled with whatever it was he was thinking about. Chris didn’t know what was going on but he was already rearing for a fight.

Finally Darren moved. He sat on the bed across from Chris, rubbed his eyes, then raised his head to look at Chris, a sad smile on his face. “Loving you. It’s a thankless job isn’t it?”

_Shocked. Hurt. Shaken._

Chris made himself breath in and out. Forcing his rabbit-quick heart to slow down.

“I mean, you’re amazing,” Darren began, ”You’re this actual magical creature that anyone, _anyone_ would love to have.”

Darren shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. The helpless, loving look on Darren’s face was reminiscent of Blaine’s and Chris still hadn’t quite wrapped his head around the fact that this was _Darren_ looking at _Chris_ like that.

He continued, staring at Chris as if he held the answers to the universe. “You’re – you’re a unicorn and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and a fucking narwhal.”

Chris closed his eyes and breathed.

_Scared. Anxious. Unsure._

He opened his eyes and this time, Darren’s eyes were tinged with sadness. “And you don’t get it. You don’t understand.”

Chris could feel his defenses coming up. Something inside him wanted to fight back, to hurt Darren as much as he was hurting Chris right now. He wanted to let his claws come out but he held himself back. This was _Darren_. No matter what, he would never hurt Chris. Not intentionally.

He willed himself to believe that, bit back the sass and asked instead, “What don’t I understand?”

Darren looked at him like he was being intentionally stupid. “That I love you.”

“I know that, Darren.” Chris couldn’t keep himself from rolling his eyes. Because, really.

He didn’t anticipate the white hot anger in Darren’s eyes.

“No. No, you don’t.  You don’t know because if you did you would never think that I would ever leave you.”

_Oh._

Chris cringed and bit his lip. He didn’t say anything for a moment. Now he knew what this was about. Damn, Lea and Cory and their good intentions.

“Darre-“

Darren stood up. “No. Just - just wait.”

He started pacing the room, hands flying with every word.

“I know that you think that I’m some sort of cuddle-whoring, free-loving, hippie. You think I’m too friendly and too flirty. You know that I love being around people and I get attached too easily and I fall in love like there’s no tomorrow.”

Darren stopped and looked directly into Chris’ eyes. “But not with you. I didn’t fall in love with you.”

_Crushed. Broken. Splintered._

Chris waited. It was all he could do because his heart was barely beating and if Darren didn’t get to the fucking point soon he was going to jump out his window.

“I didn’t _fall_.” Darren stumbled again for a moment. He stared at Chris’ book shelf and then quietly said, “It was like falling asleep. Slowly and then all at once.”

Chris opened his mouth to speak but Darren rushed on.

“I didn’t know I was in love with you, okay? I was an idiot because everyone else knew. And then when I finally _knew_ you were with that guy and then I was with someone too and then when it was finally just us. It was perfect. It was like getting Glee and How to Succeed and all the good shit that’s ever happened to me but only better.”

Chris swallowed but didn’t break away from Darren’s gaze.

_Scared. So very, very scared._

Darren was looking at Chris like he was pleading with him to understand, begging him to know what Darren knew.

“You think you’re a mess and that there’s nothing about you that’s worthy to be loved and that I’ll hurt you eventually or that you’ll hurt me eventually and we probably will but that isn’t reason enough for us not to try.”

He knelt in front of Chris, burrowing his head into Chris’ lap. Chris raised his hand and rested it on Darren’s cheek. His palm can feel the stubble that was already beginning to grow in.

“I know.”

Darren raised his head and stared at Chris, his eyes wet.

“No, you don’t.”

Chris didn’t answer, he had no words, his mind a blank slate. Instead he brought his lips to Darren’s and poured everything he had into the kiss.

Everything he wanted to say and everything that Darren wanted him to believe.

Because he doesn’t. Not yet. But he will.

If there was anyone who could make him believe it was Darren.

_Safe._

_Loved._

_Home._


End file.
